Who knew 2 months following my traumatic experience we would experience yet another crisis that hit home. On April 18, 2020, my son Camden’s father Zadrian gained his heavenly wings. So many people asked me how I was feeling and all I could focus on was just being there for my son and the family. It was so hard processing. God, what are you trying to tell us, teach us, show us is what we all asked. Our hearts were heavy, life was heavy. It really took time to process it all.
My heart hurt for my son, his sister, Zadrian’s mother (Ms. Carol), and his wife (Courtney). For everyone, we had just gone through a traumatic experience with me, and then now this. Even to this day, I’m in shock, but what’s comforting the most knowing that he died doing what he loved most, playing basketball. That’s the kind of dignity no matter what, no one can ever take away.
Months later, I have peace in knowing that in the last months we all shared together we weren’t on bad terms. Just earlier that year, we helped our son celebrate an amazing 10th birthday at an Air BnB in the city of Atlanta. We all had so much fun just being in the moment and celebrating that day with Camden. For those of you who know me and are in my close circle, you know that we have a very blended family dynamic. Although things for us weren’t always peachy, we worked at making co-parenting work someway, somehow. You learn to put aside your own differences and focus on the best interest of the child(ren). Had we mastered co-parenting? HECCCKKK NOOO! I credit my family and friends, my fiancé for being understanding, and all those around who welcomed our blended family at any social gathering or family function, and lastly and majorly, I credit Ms. Carol for being completely mutual and transparent in our co-parenting journey. One thing I’ve always admire about her, she’s never taken sides and would provide insight to us both, whether right or wrong.
In closing, my friend, grief is a different type of hurt and pain and I knew it more than ever six years ago when my father passed. When tragedy strikes, I hope somehow you find peace and comfort. I hope that you allow yourself to lean on those who you love and trust the most. Don’t try to weather that storm alone. Take all the private time you need, don’t feel the need to rush back to the world. The world and the people close to you will understand and if they don’t, let that be the day you decide that your feelings are what matters the most.
Let’s be honest, 2020 reminded us all of just how short life is and to take in each moment and each breath with a grateful heart and attitude. We are not exempt from the tragedies of this world, no matter what form they may seem to come. However, what we are provided with is God’s love, covering, and complete grace. The next time tragedy strikes, I hope you are able to take what you need.
Take What You Need:
I’m sure there are more we can add to the list. These are just a few.
Love and Life Friend,
Image: Vn.aesthetics - Yoga Girl